“I guess that it’s hard to feel raped when the rapist is being all ... mushy about it. I don’t know. I don’t mean to put down other victims at all. I’m sure that they are traumatized. I’m not, for reasons that escape me. Maybe Cassidy has it right and I basically consented ahead of time, which would explain things. If I did, at least subconsciously, consent to this, then it would be why I didn’t ... and for some reason still don’t, feel violated at all or my self-determination and bodily autonomy robbed from me, my agency, if you will.“It’s going to be one of the great mysteries of my life. Objectively, if I heard about this, I would have thought that the man really was raped, but I just didn’t feel ... raped. I’ll have to find out if there is any tape of the bachelor party at all. Maybe there is. That might give me some answers. But don’t be thinking that you’ll get out of lifelong bondage to me, whatever the result. You’ve already sworn to be my bitch and I’m holding you to that,. “I want to see those titties up there when you dance – you know not all the girls take off their panties on stage – you fuckin’ do what you want to – but I want titties.” he said turning me toward the back room. I headed back to get changed while Mister Gamboni nodded to the DJ that I would be dancing next. The room was empty as most of the girls had left for the night or were working the floor. I was nervous as fuck as I stripped off my skirt, panties and bra and slid the tiny neon bottoms up my legs, retieing the the strings at my hips for a snug fit before tucking my “secret” carefully inside. I looked in the mirror and was satisfied with the smooth appearance between my legs and then finished by tieing the top in place and waited nervously for my turn on the stage. I few minutes later, Selena came down from the stage into the small dressing area with her costume in her hands and smiled at me.“Good luck baby – those guys are crazy-horny tonight, four different guys had their.
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